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Rehearsal Dinner Etiquette: Who Should Be Invited to the Pre-Wedding Celebration?

314 Exchange • August 11, 2023

When planning a wedding, one of the significant pre-wedding events is the rehearsal dinner. It's a time for the wedding party and close family members to come together and rehearse the ceremony. However, there's often confusion surrounding the guest list for this intimate affair. Proper rehearsal dinner etiquette is essential to ensure that the event remains meaningful and enjoyable for everyone involved. 

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Understanding the Purpose of the Rehearsal Dinner

The rehearsal dinner is traditionally held the night before the wedding, following the ceremony rehearsal. Its primary purpose is to gather the wedding party and immediate family members, giving them an opportunity to become familiar with the order of events and iron out any last-minute details. However, the rehearsal dinner has evolved beyond its original function and is now seen as a pre-wedding celebration in its own right.

The Wedding Party: A Must-Inclusion

The most critical rule of rehearsal dinner etiquette is to invite everyone who is part of the wedding party. This includes the bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girls, ring bearers, and any other individuals with specific roles in the ceremony. The rehearsal dinner is a chance to thank them for their support and recognize their essential contributions to the wedding day.

Immediate Family: The Core Group

Inviting immediate family members is customary and expected. This includes parents, siblings, and grandparents of the bride and groom. They are the core group of people who have been involved in the couple's lives and have played a significant role in shaping their journey to marriage.

The Officiant and Their Spouse

It's a thoughtful gesture to invite the wedding officiant and their spouse to the rehearsal dinner. They play a crucial role in the wedding ceremony, and extending an invitation shows appreciation for their presence and effort.

Steer Clear of Mandatory Invites

While the wedding party and immediate family should receive automatic invitations, it's essential to avoid mandating attendance for other guests, especially those who have traveled a long distance to attend the wedding. Remember, the rehearsal dinner is an optional event for many guests.

Out-of-Town Guests: To Invite or Not to Invite?

Deciding whether to invite out-of-town guests to the rehearsal dinner can be challenging. While it's considerate to extend an invitation to those who have traveled far to be at the wedding, it's not an obligation. Instead, you can welcome them with a warm greeting and thank them for making the journey during the wedding reception.

The Intimacy Factor: A Small Gathering

To maintain the intimacy of the rehearsal dinner, consider keeping the guest list relatively small. By limiting the attendees to close family and wedding party members, you create a more meaningful and cozy atmosphere.

Plus-Ones and Extended Family

It's generally not necessary to invite plus-ones to the rehearsal dinner, especially if you want to keep the event intimate. However, if a member of the wedding party has a spouse or long-term partner, it's polite to extend an invitation to them.

Handling Divorced or Estranged Parents

Dealing with divorced or estranged parents can be delicate. In such situations, it's best to invite both parties and be clear about seating arrangements to avoid any potential conflicts. Alternatively, you can host separate dinners for each parent to ensure a harmonious atmosphere.

Friends and Special Guests

Close friends who aren't part of the wedding party and hold a special place in the couple's lives may be considered for an invitation. However, if the rehearsal dinner is becoming too large, consider inviting these friends to join for drinks or dessert after the dinner.

The Venue: A Reflection of Your Style

Choosing the right venue for the rehearsal dinner is essential. Some couples opt for a restaurant or banquet hall, while others prefer unique locations like barn wedding venues in Louisville, KY. For those planning a barn wedding, hosting the rehearsal dinner at a picturesque barn venue near Louisville, KY, can set the tone for a rustic and charming celebration.

Setting Expectations: Formal vs. Casual

The formality of the rehearsal dinner should complement the wedding itself. If the wedding is black-tie and formal, the rehearsal dinner might also be an elegant affair. On the other hand, a small wedding with a laid-back vibe could be preceded by a casual and relaxed rehearsal dinner.

Making the Guest List: Communication is Key

To avoid any misunderstandings or hurt feelings, it's essential to communicate clearly about who is invited to the rehearsal dinner. Work closely with your partner and families to ensure that everyone is on the same page and understands the reasoning behind the guest list.


Etiquette dictates that all out-of-town guests should be invited to this pre-wedding party, but what if more than half of your big-day attendees are traveling for the ceremony and reception? Crafting the guest list for this event can be almost as difficult as deciding who gets invited to the wedding!(1)

Welcome Speeches and Toasts

The rehearsal dinner provides an excellent opportunity for heartfelt speeches and toasts. The couple or their parents can express their gratitude to the guests and share heartwarming stories about their journey to marriage.

Catering and Menu Selection

The menu for the rehearsal dinner should cater to the preferences and dietary restrictions of the attendees. Whether it's a sit-down dinner or a buffet, ensure there are enough options to accommodate everyone.

Special Touches: Personalizing the Event

To make the rehearsal dinner even more special, consider personal touches such as a slideshow of the couple's journey or a display of their childhood photos. These elements can add warmth and nostalgia to the celebration.

The Thank-You Note

After the rehearsal dinner, be sure to express your gratitude to all the attendees. A heartfelt thank-you note or email can go a long way in showing your appreciation for their presence and support.

Finally

The rehearsal dinner is a time for love, laughter, and celebration with your closest friends and family. By following proper rehearsal dinner etiquette and carefully considering the guest list, you can create a warm and welcoming atmosphere that sets the stage for a perfect wedding day. Whether you choose barn wedding venues in Louisville, KY, or any small wedding venues Louisville KY that reflects your style, remember that the true essence of the rehearsal dinner lies in the genuine connections made and cherished memories shared.


About the author

Cory Adkinson

Cory Adkinson is the owner and operator of 314 Exchange, a premier wedding and event venue. With a passion for creating unforgettable experiences, Cory has dedicated his career to providing exceptional service and a beautiful setting for weddings, corporate events, and special occasions. As an expert in the event industry, he has a keen eye for detail and a commitment to excellence. Cory believes in building strong relationships with his clients and goes above and beyond to ensure their vision is brought to life. With his expertise and dedication, Cory has become a trusted name in the event industry and continues to exceed expectations.

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